These 5 Could Destroy Your Marriage

June 15, 2012 — 7 Comments

I often think back on the major things that I allowed to happen in me and Amber marriage in only 8 years, particularly during the time we were senior pastors and on staff elsewhere. So, I am going to be real vulnerable with you all today and share with you 5 ways or indicators that the church, ministry, and/or religion can strain or destroy marriage.

For me, I allowed the combination of the three listed above to strain our marriage. If I had not made a decision to change, me and Amber might not be together today, or at best we would be barely coexisting.

Image courtesy of istockphoto

Here are 5 Indicators that you may be allowing the church, ministry, and/or religion to destroy your marriage:

  1. If you neglect investing time and energy in your bride (wife) while spending more time investing in His bride (the church).
  2. If you are an expert at fixing others problems but you fail at admitting and fixing your own.
  3. If you dream more about your future in ministry than you do about a future with your family.
  4. If you have the tendency to say accusatory statements like, “You know, you are not sold out to this marriage or you would support my calling to the ministry without question”.
  5. If you invest/spend more personal finances on your vision than you do securing the future of your family.

Discussion Question:
What are your thoughts on the matter? Please keep in mind – if you have not been in a lead role in ministry this may not be the subject for you today. But for the rest of us, it is real and it can be ugly.

 

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  • http://www.churchthought.com Matt Steen

    Did you REALLY need to go there?

    Seriously, good word.

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    Thank you for sharing this, I know it must not have been easy but this is something we all need to be aware of. Satan can use even good things to destroy us and our families. 

    • Matt

      I really appreciate that you noted that even “good things” can be out demise.

      Good doesn’t always mean “needed” in our lives.

      Thanks for taking time to comment. It is appreciated.

      Matt

      • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

        You’re welcome. Enjoyed the read, very important topic.

        I know times in my own life and the lives of my friends where “good” things did not necessarily mean “God” things. Does that make sense?

  • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

    Good stuff bro. 

    • mattwade

      I really appreciate you taking time to share in the blog. We all can learn a great deal about marriage from your wonderful ministry.

  • http://yourspiritmindandbody.com/ Mike Shanta

    Being more concerned about your vision than your marriage goes far beyond just leadership rolls in the church.  Your job, your hobbies, watching sports, etc. Very good points!