Human Like You | Where Human Struggle Meets Grace.

Transparent Tuesday #6

There are many things that contribute to being a great leader. I have read many leadership books that tackle the issues of time management, journaling, prayer time, and many other things.

While all of these things are healthy daily practices, I find it incredibly inconvenient to do one of them on a daily basis. This probably makes me less than a mediocre leader – but it is the truth.

I am a committed worker. I love work. I love to create and enjoy what I have created. But, the one practice that is said to mark all great leaders is that of journaling.

I do not find a lot of joy in journaling. It bores me. I wonder how much money I have wasted on Moleskine journals? I have several. I now use them to take notes at church. But as for journaling…I have time gaps that are a month or two apart in the journaling process.

I honestly feel bad at times for not being like other great leaders and journaling on a daily basis. Maybe it will change. I don’t know.

What about you? Do find it hard to be consistent as a leader is one or two areas? Click here and leave a comment. Let me know your thoughts.

More About Heaven

Part of my life has been tragic in many ways – just like many of your lives.

But, there is one part of my story that I love to share that is unique to me. I share this portion for the sake of stirring up hope in the skeptic and strengthening faith in the ones who do believe in these sort of happenings.

My grandmother Nellie, whom I adore, was my caregiver for the younger part of my life. I lived with her until I was 9. I then wanted to live with my dad.

Like most grandchildren, I went to visit her every weekend. I loved going to maw maw’s house because we went to church every Sunday. I loved church then. I love church now. My childhood pastor always made me feel special. My pastor and his wife gave me the opportunity to learn how to play the drums & sing. But most of all they taught me to worship Jesus and to really know the presence of God.

Let me fast-forward this story for the sake of my reminiscing.

My grandfather was an alcoholic – and a good one at that. I loved my paw paw in spite of his crazy ways. One day he got sick. I dont know when or how but I do know that I was around 11 years old.

I went to the hospital to see him in intensive care. My pastor walked me into the room so I could see him. I was afraid. I remember holding onto my pastor tight. He had on one of those long beige overcoats. Its funny how a kid remembers things like that. That coat made me feel safe. Well, really it was the big guy in that coat.

My paw paw died not too many days after that…

A few months had passed after his death. I was sleeping next to my grandmother one night and I had this vision, dream, or whatever.

I saw a place in the roof of our bedroom open up and this really white light came in the room. In an instant my grandfather was standing at the foot of our bed. I was sitting on the edge of the bed looking right at him.

Hang in here…its gets crazier.

I remember what he looked like as if he were here right now. He looked like a younger version of himself. He had blonde hair and a white robe. By the way, whats up with everyone having blonde or golden hair and white robe in heaven? Hispanic, Black, & Indian people (and whoever else) cannot have golden hair. It just wont look right. I digress.

My grandfather looked at me and said, “How are you doing son? How is your maw maw?”

He called me son all the time even though I was his grandson.

I responded, “We are good paw paw”? He then said “Well, the Lord said that you were worried about me and I wanted to come and let you know that I am ok. I have to go now, but I will see you soon.”

He then left.

I woke up crying. I woke up maw maw and told her. She started crying and then she woke up the neighborhood via phone calls.

I have another story I will post in a few days about my grandmother.

Do you have a story about heaven? Will you share it with me? If so, CLICK HERE.

Does it do any good?

As a minister, consultant, and web designer I often times find myself being overly critical of a ministries image and of course the name associated with that ministry.

I ask myself, “Does this (method, name, etc) help the cause of Christ or hurt it?”

Church names have the tendency to drive me bonkers. So, I have listed a few for your viewing as well as provided some images of some of the longest names I have ever seen.

If you are a member or a pastor of one of these churches then I offer you my sincere apology for any offense this may cause. I am in no way stating that these places are not doing a good work for Christ.

The Spiritual Israel Church and its Army

Alpha and Omega Brooklyn House of Prayer

Macedonia First Born Church of the Living God

Jesus the Son of the Living God Spiritual Baptist Church

Church of Deliverance Tabernacle of Prayer

More Than Conquerors Outreach Ministry Church and Worship Center

Divine Guide Tabernacle of Faith Church

Holy City Faith and Deliverance Ministries Center of Love

Touch Not My Anointed Praise Tabernacle

Saint Andrews Temple Church of the Living God

One of the major statements that I hear when consulting pastors and minister in the area of image and name is “God gave me this name”.

I beg to differ. God gave you a vision for a harvest. Whatever you name that vision is up to you. Don’t blame God for an irrelevant name, method of doing church, or a reason for staying in a cultural rut.

I do urge every minister and pastor that reads this blog to rethink the name and image that is placed on the message of the gospel.

The message one preaches and the message of the gospel can be very different

We do need to be relevant in today’s culture if we are going to be effective. Being relevant does not mean that we forsake the preaching and teaching of the scriptures. When we become relevant we open the doors of the kingdom to a vast harvest that we are currently alienating. One can alienate hundreds, if not thousands by the image and name that is placed on your building.

Our spirituality cannot be found in our church name, but in our devotion to the Great Commission.

Is It Real?

Before I share my heart, please watch this trailer for the new series at Crosspoint beginning this Sunday, June 12th. Pete Wilson will be addressing a lot of questions, fears, and hopes.

I have definitely had my doubts over the past few years. Really, my doubts about heaven, and especially hell began in 2005. It was the day I HIT THE THEOLOGICAL WALL.

I began to question every part of my theology. I did not share it with anyone – particularly with preachers. You can understand why.

I have always kept one thing sacred in my heart – THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS.

What was the “MORE” that I was hoping for? I don’t know really. I can tell you that I did not want to be taken away in the rapture (thats another subject) nor did I want to leave my wife and family. For me, the traditional view of heaven made me sad – not hopeful.

As I began to read the teachings of Jesus and study Paul’s writings in depth, I begin to see HOPE again. This hope sprang up in me like OLD FAITHFUL. I begin to see heaven as an immediate possibility and not a day dream in the very distant future.

What I want to share in this post (more will come later) is that one day, this heaven that we long for will become a reality. Not in a distant span of space in the sky – but rather here among us. It will come here to this earth. In fact, it is here. Sure, it is here in part – but nonetheless – it is here. Heaven on earth today is a Biblical reality.

Yes – heaven is real – at least to me. If I die before Christ returns to fix this mess, then I will get to see Him there (wherever there is) – but if He comes while I am living in this current life, then I get to see Heaven here in its fullness.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Post them here.

Square One

I can’t get past square one these days. I have heard the expression “square one” all my life, never knowing its origin until now.

I found this in research. The expression “back to square one” has been used in the past in describing football commentary in the late 1920’s, board games from the 1950’s, and hopscotch, a common childhood game with a grid of numbered squares.

But for me, Square One is totally related to Jesus Christ. And I can’t get past Him. Not now, anyway.

Early on in leadership, I was so eager to get to Squares Two, Three, Four, Five, etc. But in the latest dealings of God’s Spirit to my life, Square One has never looked so good.

Squares Two and up had an appeal for me in previous days of learning and leading. Square One seemed so low-level, so immature, so “not Charismatic”.

I was so hungry to know what Squares Two and up held for my life that I never saturated myself in the total Grace and Beauty of Square One.

The years of 2001-2005 were the most purging years of my ministry and personal life. Through the devastation, He took me all the way back to Square One. It was at this simple place that I had hurried through years earlier, that I learned the value of Square One.

Square One is the place of our “IN CHRIST” reality. For some of us, our experiences had overshadowed our Reality. Whether those experiences were good or bad, spiritual or natural, pleasurable or traumatic, there is never a time in our lives that Square One should be minimized.

I’ve got my check mark by this one and I’m investing more and more of my Bible study and prayer time into Square One and to be honest……I’m having a hard time getting past Square One.

Jana Alcorn

Foot Loose

Most of us have heard the term “PREACHERS KID”. When we hear this term, most of our minds picture the rebellious kid whose mom and dad were holiness or fundamental preachers. Kinda like the movie FOOTLOOSE …but without Kevin Bacon and great dancing. However, all of the drama is still in play.

Why does this picture or image pop in our minds? Well – its kinda true. Although I am not a preachers kid, I have many friends who are. And let me tell ya… never mind.

My son Carson is a preachers kid. I have come to grips with this fact. I wished it were not true – but then I would not be called to do what I do. I love the call of God on my life. BUT – I love the God of the call more.

One of my mentors said that her spouse use to look at some preachers and churches and make this comment “I would hate to be sentenced to that”. WOW. What a perspective.

It is like incarceration to be a part of some peoples ministries.

No wonder PK’s are lumped into one dysfunctional category. So, with this in mind, I wanted to share another stat with you:

80% of adult children that had pastors for parents have had to seek professional help for depression.

This ought not be. The call of God was never placed on any of us to save other peoples families and allow ours to be destroyed.

I want to encourage you as pastors, worship leaders, or any other person who works diligently in the ministry: DON’T SENTENCE YOUR CHILDREN TO UNDESIRED MINISTRY.

Allow the wondrous Holy Spirit to call them into WHATEVER He has for them. For my wife, it was being a nurse. For me, it was a preacher, singer, and writer. For others, it may be a landscape artist or an insurance salesman. Whatever He has in mind will bring the greatest joy.

I pray that my dear son serves Jesus. But, I want him to always know that HOWEVER he serves Jesus is cool with me and his mom.

By the way – I love rock-n-roll and I wish I could dance like Kevin Bacon. Heck, I just wish I could dance.

Yes, I Did This.

In 2004, Amber and I planted our first and only church in a small town in Alabama. We met some really great people during our pastorate. We made some good friends along the way as well.

Unfortunately, I was an inexperienced, egotistical leader who did not need anyone. Sure, I can preach, sing, play piano, and even organize pretty well…but then there is that whole idea of being a consistently healthy leader and at this point in my life I was not that guy.

We were about nine months into pastoring when all my bad decisions as a leader mounted up. Of course I assumed NONE of the responsibility for the bad decisions. In my mind, it was everyone else’s fault.

Every single Sunday, I would go home after I had preached a “world-changing message” (said with heavy sarcasm) and sit in utter turmoil. My nerves were shot due to the overwhelming pressures that I had allowed to build in my mind from all the people who were fighting against me.

Was I really allowing this to happen to me? I thought God had called me to do something great. Why are these people treating me like this?

image by matt wade

I never even thought about my wife’s feelings during all the mess that I had created.

How could I not even consider my wife’s feelings and emotions health?

When one leads from an unhealthy place in life, he tends to neglect the more weightier things in life. I was a novice leader, an emotional leader, and an emotional husband. I ruled my life from a place of unstable emotions. I did not lead with counsel, wisdom, and prayer.

I had no idea what was wrong with me even though I sensed I was out of control inwardly. I ignored the obvious.

I chose to believe that most of the church members I pastored were against me and all of them were hell-bent of making me go crazy. I cried about it. I cursed about it. I had meetings about it. I over ate due to it. I caused my wife unreal anguish and stress.

All for the ministry. Little for Jesus.

Because of my lack of care for Amber she began resenting me, the ministry, and ultimately the church.

The reality is that I caused this, not he devil and not the church members. I was responsible for all the things that were out-of-order, particularly how I related to my wife.

So my question for you today is this: What are you allowing to happen in your ministry that causes you, your spouse, or your children undue stress, anger, or resentment?

What are you going to do about it?

Here are a few things that I did that have changed the course of my life, marriage, and ministry:

I take 10mg of Lexipro everyday due to a chemical imbalance that causes General Anxiety Disorder. I prayed about this for a few years, but after advice from a trusted church leader and friend, he recommended that I visit my primary care physician to seek medical help. I am a different man today. Don’t feel bad for making an informed, medical decision to begin prescribed medication for something that you need help with today.
I made a choice to respect my wife in her calling as a nurse. I thought she had to be the model preacher’s wife. I am surprised she is still married to me.
I left the circle of religious, hierarchical, controlling, egotistical preachers in which I was involved. Sometimes you just gotta go. Unhealthy relationship will infect the whole of your life.
We sat at home for months and did not attend church. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself and for my wife. You have to do what works for you and your family.
Once we decided it was time to go back to church, we found a Christ-centered church that cares about Jesus and people.

I hope these help you in some way. Please email me HERE if you need to chat.