Most of my life I have felt this overwhelming pressure to feel significant, or make others think I am significant. This pressure lead me to exaggerate or lie about the things I was accomplishing in life and ministry.
Tis a great desire to be significant, but only if one has proper perspective on what he or she believes significance to be. My idea of significance looked something like this when I was a younger preacher:
- Pastor a large church.
- Feel needed.
- Drive a Mercedes or BMW.
- Speak at a different church as often as I would like.
- Make a great paycheck.
- Be honored for what I was doing – or all I though I was doing.
Notice that none of this has to do with loving God and loving people.
Some time ago Me, Amber and Carson were on a walking trail here in Nashville. We were talking about how much we love our community of faith (Crosspoint.tv) and how significant the church is in the this city. I made the comment to her “Babe, don’t you ever feel as though you need to be significant in the earth?”
Amber’s response to me was so moving and wise.“Matt, I am significant…to Carson and to you.”
My wife taught me a great lesson that day. Amber taught me that significance is rarely the things we do, but rather the people we love deeply.
What good would it be for me to impact the world and lose my son? What good would it be for the church to love me for what I do for her spiritual life and my wife hate me for what I do not contribute to hers?
Significance? Yeah, I now have a whole new viewpoint thanks to Amber. Sure, I still want to impact people, but not before I impact my family.
I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance. Pablo Casals
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