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Unrealistically Human

Meet my newest pal, Trevor DeVage. I met this guy while on his sabbatical here in Nashville. He and I hit it off immediately. This is a guest post by Trevor. Follow him on Twitter. This blog is to-the-point, so buckle up.

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, but I don’t even have the energy for that right now. I am tired of having to put on the face because the “church” can’t handle reality. We read about it in scripture and are thankful that they are all just as messed up as we are. But the moment we become human too, people freak. They can’t handle it. They want pretty and perfect, yet what they say is they want real and authentic.

I wish the church could handle real and authentic.

Image by deviant art

You know what real and authentic gets you as a pastor…labeled.

He’s a rebel.

He’s angry.

He’s too edgy.

He’s married to a beautiful woman who should wear a burlap sack.

He’s not the total package.

He’s a jerk.

He’s prideful and arrogant.

He’s entitled.

He’s not lead pastor material.

He’s not…fill in the blank.

What we want is not what Jesus redeemed. What we want is something not realistic for any human being. I am wearied of people trying to cram other people into these labels and boxes. It’s as if you have to stay there and if you don’t well then you are not ministry material.

I wonder…was Moses ministry material?

I wonder…was David ministry material?

I wonder…was Paul ministry material?

I wonder…was Adam ministry material?

I wonder…was Abraham ministry material?

I wonder…was Samson ministry material?

I wonder…was Peter ministry material?

These men were liars, adulterers, murderers, prideful, arrogant, unloving, angry individuals…who the last time I checked were all deemed qualified for ministry. We love to say that God chooses imperfect people to carry out his will. But what our actions state is that we want God to give us perfect people to run our churches so we can land blast them when they are actually what they were created to be…HUMAN!

So may we become people who will make continual allowances for being what we were created to be. May we be people who will not hold humans to inhuman expectations. And may we realize that we are all in the same boat no matter the pedestal or platform that we elevate people to.

May we be HUMAN!

Discussion Question:
In what ways do you handle those around you in their “humanness”?

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5 Ways To Spot These People

What if there were a major problem in your life for which no one would give you time and space to work it out? You know – unforgiveness that lasted for years, but you are now ready to confront it. Or maybe it’s the old porn addiction and you are now ready for freedom.

What if you have so many habits that are hidden from the public eye from which you desperately want to be free, but you can’t find a confidant to give you space to walk out your Christ experience?

Image courtesy of psdgraphics.com

Here are five ways to spot the impatient ones:

1. They do not process things like you and are unaware of your reality.

2. They probably have struggled with the same thing and want to push-off guilt.

3. They haven’t experienced the struggle that you are facing.

4. They are people who expect perfection from others.

5. They do not think it should take this long for you to walk in freedom.

If you know people like this, chances are you have been this way as well…right?

As followers of Jesus it is imperative that we give time and space to those who struggle differently. What may take a week for one may take a year for another. Drawing a line for someone is not fair to their process.

I want to challenge us all with this statement – We must be patient with people as they live out Christ’s freedom, but also have a responsibility to teach His freedom to those who struggle. Its one thing to allow someone to just do whatever, whenever. It’s altogether a different scenario to walk with someone for an extended period of time while teaching them the way that Christ wants us to live.

It is our duty to teach His life while they are learning to live theirs. One day, their life will become His.

Hear this: You or I may not be in a place where we need time and space for sin and struggle, but one day we will. So, be that person for someone else, so that you too can have the same.

Discussion Question:
What are two ways in which you give time and space to those who have had a long struggle with the same problem(s)?

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I Think My Brain May Explode!

Guest Post by: Rob Atkins

Ok, maybe it’s just me, but when I was younger I used to think once I got like 40 or 50 I would have everything figured out. I mean, surely by then all of life’s answers would be clear. Really, how tough can it be? You get married, have a family, and buy a house. You go to church and everything should go smoothly, right? Guess what? For the most part it has.

Now I am sure you’re saying, “Come on you’re trying to tell me that life has not thrown you some curves. There’s not been some devastating moments in your life’s journey.”

No, I am not saying that there’s not been moments that shook me to my core beliefs or that I haven’t questioned why this or that happened. The real answer has come through the understanding that my mind has to be renewed daily. I know that may sound a bit cliché and, yes, I understand some of you have said, “I am done with church; I am done with people,” and I get it, trust me I do.

The fact of the matter is, deep down in you and me, our spirit yearns; it cries out.

There’s still a longing that we can’t turn off. The battlefield in our mind tries to destroy the communication it needs with our spirit. Why? Because it is in direct conflict with our spirit. Think about it. Your mind will take a suggestion and turn it into lust. Your mind will take one word and turn it into offense. Your mind will take God’s love and turn it into judgment. Our spirit and our heart are really one. When we lose heart, whether in people or in our belief of something, our mind jumps at the chance to reinforce it. That’s why it’s called head knowledge. It goes with what’s right in front of it, not taking into consideration how one moment affects the other.

Your spirit, on the other hand, desires to please God. Our spirit should have the ultimate say so. That’s why it’s so important that our mind be renewed daily, to bring it into right alignment with our spirit.

So with that in mind (no pun intended) it’s crucial what we allow to be imprinted on our heart/spirit. Our actions must match up to what the Spirit of God in us is trying to convey. It’s vital we recognize this, then take the proper steps. We can have the type of life we’ve dreamed of, but it will not happen if we think we can do it without God in our lives.

So here’s the challenge:

How do we accomplish this? We take ownership of our actions. Yes, parents, family, friends, pastors, husbands, wives, kids, bosses, ex’s,…shall I keep going? All may have let us down, done something to hurt us, they might even be the cause of where we are now. That, however, is called blame and the only person ultimately harmed by that is ourselves.

It’s not easy, this journey we call life. Saying words like forgiveness, trust and love are difficult to say to others, especially when we feel short-changed in those areas. I know lots of people who have allowed moments to turn into a lifetime of mental struggle.

I encourage you, don’t let your mind have the final word. Search your heart; find that place of desire and passion. There’s no shortcuts in life. Learn from yesterday, embrace today and have faith in tomorrow. Trust the God inside of you.

Psalm 49:3 (AMP) My mouth shall speak wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.

6 Ways to Survive Shifting Theology

This is a guest post that I wrote for Matt Steen of Church Thought.

In 2005 while pastoring my first church, I collided with a wall theologically and/or doctrinally. I mean I hit it hard. I began questioning aspects of what I held as my sacred foundation of Christ. These fundamentals were so connected to my salvation that the mere idea that I would dare to question such foundation pieces was to admit that I might be “backsliding”. What’s more, I could possibly be walking toward the eternal fiery abyss.

What’s worse than going to hell over questioning your theology? CONTINUE READING

Empty Promises pt. 1

I often rave over my local church – and rightly so. But sometimes a message is preached that does something to you inwardly that other messages just do not accomplish. That is the case with the first week of the new sermon series, Empty Promises by our pastor Pete Wilson.

CLICK IMAGE TO PURCHASE BOOK

This week, Pete hit another milestone in his writing as he released his second book, EMPTY PROMISES. Of course we get the privilege of not only getting to read the book, but also getting to hear the message series live each week. So the next few Mondays on HLY I am going to share the sermon series notes and my thoughts from Sunday’s message.

I for one have many empty promises that I often chase. Pete opened up a can of worms in my life that I did know existed, or I chose to ignore them. I guess we all have those IDOLS in our live, but we also must be willing to confront and allow the image of Christ to replace the golden images of our own imagination and desire.

The points that I am going to share in this blog post are taken from Pete’s book and sermon series. So, I hope you enjoy what we learned today.

Empty Promises are those things in which we allow to take the place of Christ in our lives. They are nothing more than idols that we place, not only before God, but are those things we seek to give us only what God can give.
We often try to find peace in “stuff”. This is idolatry. Why? Because we look for fulfillment, peace, joy, and satisfaction within the creation and not the Creator.
Most of our idols are performance driven.
Idols will always exhaust us because they cannot breathe life back into us.
When we take a good thing and make it an ultimate thing, it becomes an idol thing, which then becomes a destructive thing.

Here are two ways to help you recognize your proclivity toward idols:

Am I willing to sin to get it?
Am I willing to sin if I think I am going to lose it?

The real problem with our culture is not external idolatry (sacrificing animals, etc), but internal idolatry (looking for “things” to bring us fulfillment).

Jesus doesn’t want to edit our behaviors, he wants to change our hearts.

My confession:

I have more idols than I realized. I am tempted to try to modify my sin behavior because I want to do what is right. However, Jesus does not want me to modify my behavior for His approval or love. He wants my heart to be purified from idols so that my love relationship with Him is fulfilled. My external actions produce little results. Why? I can’t measure up to my own rules, more or less God’s. That is why it is imperative that we rely on grace to move us into a place of freedom from idols, or as Pete calls them – EMPTY PROMISES.

Discussion Question:
What idols immediately come to mind that you have sought to bring fulfillment to your life in place of God?

You can purchase Pete’s book, Empty Promises HERE.

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What Forms Your Thinking?

Here is the question for you, “What forms my thinking? What affects the outcome of my decisions?” Is my mindset “fixed” in a moment or is it in a state of continual growth?

Over this series of guest posts that I am doing for Human Like You, we are going to spend time answering these questions:

How are mindsets formed
Can they be changed
Could I be stuck
What are the Spiritual applications

By definition a mindset is: a set os beliefs or a way of thinking that determines one’s behavior, outlook and mental attitude.

Image by Rob Atkins

I understand how easy it is to become “fixed” in moment of time. For years I was wrapped up in the title of a pastor. I let it define me. I enjoyed hearing people say,”Hey, Pastor Rob, what’s your thoughts on this, I enjoyed your message, you’re this, you’re that.”

You get the picture.

When I left the pastorate I allowed myself to become stuck in that moment in my life. It took time for me to figure out who I was outside of the scope of pastoring. I had to realize I was not just a pastor; I am a father, a husband, a friend, a student, and a teacher. All of these things make up who I am. I had to learn to enjoy just being me.

For some, a “fixed” mindset started back in grade school. We allowed one test we failed to define us, or one little word Suzy or Tommy said, make us feel like a loser. So what if you got a 65 on your math test and Tommy got a 92?

So what if you pastor a church of 75 and someone else pastors a church of 275?

When we allow ourselves to become “stuck” in a difficult moment, concrete can begin to form around our thoughts. We begin to compare ourselves to others. We start saying things like, ”Why can’t I have what they have. I must not be as smart as they are. People must like them more. They must have something I don’t.”

Those type of thoughts can form negative patterns. Learn to see opportunity. Understand that a 65 on a math test only tells you where you are at this point. Let it challenge you to improve.

Potential = Someone’s capacity to develop skills, with effort over time.

Our ability to recognize growth potential is key. As I tell people all the time, I have no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive when I speak or write a blog. My only desire is to try to help you be the best version of yourself you can be. Understand you can accomplish things in your life with a set-in-stone mindset, but why would you want to limit yourself? Why would you settle for not reaching your full potential?

I’m not saying it’s going to easy. Trust me, there are days that it’s a lot more comfortable to stroke my own ego, to find something or someone to say, “Hey, I’ve got it together more than they do.”

We set ourselves up for disappointment when we allow a moment or a person (ourselves) to determine the outcome of our lives. Recognize where you are in your life; if your stuck, admit it. If you need help, seek it out. Your willingness to change will affect everything and everyone around you.

Next time…. My mind and my spirit are working together.

Discussion Question:
What are some of the unhealthy mindsets in which you struggle to maintain motivation?

This Guest Post Is By: Rob Atkins

Smokin’ Joe Said What!

Some time ago I had an encounter with a couple of gentlemen, one of which we will refer to as “Smokin’ Joe”. No, it was not the Camel Cigarettes Mascot…although that would have been a neat encounter. I mean who doesn’t want to meet a smoking Camel?

I digress.

To be clear, this post is not about condemning people who have an addiction to smoking, but it is about addictions.

Image by Camel

I sat at my kitchen table sipping a warm cup of Donut Shop coffee brewed in less than 30 seconds by my beloved K-Cup machine. While enjoying my cup of coffee I began to share my story of grace with these gentlemen that I had just met. To my surprise, they were not really on the same page as me as it related to grace. Go figure.

Somehow we got on the subject of addictions. The friend of Smokin’ Joe made the statement, “The church is so addicted to things like pain medications, antidepressants, alcohol, etc.” I agreed with him.

But then I made the mistake of telling the guys that I was taking 20mg of Lexapro for General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). They both just looked at me and gently nodded their heads in disapproval to my horrendous addiction to anxiety medication.

I shared my heart about how Lexapro has helped me to refocus the anxiety in which I have fought since I was a teenager. Lexipro allows me to be peaceable and not fly off the handle for no reason. It keeps my stomach out of knots.

They continued to nod with concern.

I explained to them that I was glad that I am not addicted to Lexapro or any other medication, but was very glad that I am currently taking my 20mg’s to buffer anxiety.

Then it happened – Smokin’ Joe then tells me that I am basically taking cocaine and that I am addicted. He says that I am not free in Christ and that my mind it numbed to the reality of my addiction. He also reminds me that I am in sin for taking this medicine and not relying on God for deliverance.

From here, I think I may have blacked out. I’m not sure that Lexapro could have helped my thought process. From what I remember, I stayed calm and Jesus like. Thankfully, no one left with a good cursing.

What’s the point of this post?

To be clear, I really had no problem with Smokin’ Joe’s position on my “addiction”. I didn’t black out or want to curse him out. I just like to joke around a bit.

Also, when someone brings information to you that is questionable, you must look to the source of the information and then make an evaluation as to the level of influence in which that information will have on your mind.

From the moment Smokin’ Joe walked into our home he was drinking coffee. He had four cups of coffee in just an hour or so in one sitting. From our conversation I learned that he had also been drinking coffee all morning as well.

Smokin’ Joe is as you might expect, a chain smoker.

You see, those who have issues in their own lives often push on you those things from which they want to be free.

Joe didn’t have a problem with me being on Lexapro – Joe had a problem with the multiple addictions in his own life. Hence, he had to condemn mine.

We often find problems in others that we ourselves struggle with the most. We condemn ourselves by dissecting the sin in our neighbors life. That is why Jesus said to remove the plank out of your own eye before you try to remove the splinter out of your neighbors eye. We mustn’t judge lest we be judged by the same measure.

Joe rinsed out the coffee cup, we prayed, hugged one another and he headed out the door with his pal.

Joe left me with 4 less K-Cups – that’s all. But what if he had met someone who didn’t understand grace? He would have left them with a lot more than a few less K-Cups – he would have left them hopeless and confused.

So my challenge for all of us today is that we leave the cleaning of the heart to the one who can purify it with love. Give grace to those who you feel don’t deserve it.

One day Smokin’ Joe will need the same grace that he refused to give me and others alike. Let us all do this for one another.

John 13:35 (NLT) Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

Grace and peace.

Discussion Question:
Do you ever find yourself analyzing someone else only to realize that person became a giant mirror for your own life?

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5 Ways Jesus Was Human Like You

Image by christmas-specials.wikia.com

John tells us in his gospel that, “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only son of the father, full of grace and truth.” (1:14)

I like saying it from this perspective, “God’s best idea became human, to be like us, to live with us…”

Often times as both believers in Jesus and non believers, we place majority emphasis on the divinity of Jesus and neglect that He was flesh and blood like you and I.

His divinity and his humanity stand as two distinct attributes. We see the humanity of Jesus in a very distinct way during his life, before His death and resurrection. Afterward we see Jesus in a much more “divine” manner.

Here is an example of Jesus before his death and resurrection and then one afterward.

Before Resurrection: He was born of a woman. He was raised as a normal child. His heart was to do the will of His father. He depended upon and believed God for supernatural ability to heal and perform miracles, just like you and I.

After Resurrection: He passed through a wall of a house. He ascended into the clouds. He looked different to Mary after His resurrection.

Jesus was 100% human before his death and resurrection. It was only after His resurrection that He became divine or glorified. Jesus even prayed in John 17 for His father “glorify” His so that He can glorify His father.

Jesus being a man gives me great hope as a human. Why? Because He was like me.

Hebrews 2:14-18 says, Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Did you see it? Notice the highlighted portion of this passage. He was made like us in every respect. He suffered when He was tempted. He was flesh and blood and partook of the same things as we.

Here are 5 ways in which Jesus was #HUMANLIKEYOU

1. Did Jesus ever become impatient with people? Yes.

Matthew 17:17 Jesus said, “How long do I have to stay with you people. You are a perverse and evil.”

2. Did Jesus ever get angry? Yes.

John 2:13-17 Jesus goes into the temple and gives them a good ole’ country tale beating. His anger was evident because of the sin that was happening in the temple.

4. Was Jesus ever sad? Yes.

Matthew 14:1-13 Jesus heard that His cousin and friend John the Baptist was beheaded, so He withdrew Himself to a solitary place. He was sad.

Did Jesus ever cry? Yes.

John 11:35 Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus. This is another picture of Jesus being sad.

5. Did Jesus ever deal with fear? Yes.

Matthew 26 Jesus is the garden of Gethsemane before His death and asks, “Father, please, if there be another way, please let this cup pass from me.”

This is fear. We seem to always want to quote the super hero part, “Nevertheless, not my will be thine be done.”

We tend to paint a picture that this was a one line prayer. But, remember, Jesus had asked them to pray with him for a least an hour. So, it is obvious that this is only a portion of what Jesus prayed.

His fear of the awful death and torture He would face came through the words of His prayer.

Discussion Question:
Do you have any objections to seeing Jesus as a Human? If so, what are they?